The Grand Final
Pick 7.11 - Justin Tucker $2.70 or best offer

The Gridiron Gazette

The complete 2025 season, replayed — a Gridiron Gazette production

JACKINGOFF ARE THE 2025 PREMIERS — 192.35 in the decider

The Grand Final · Tuesday 30 December 2025

JACOB LIFTS THE CUP: 192 in the decider

JackinGoff 192.35, Kempsey 124.15. The 2,175-point season ends with nothing; the premiership goes to the club that peaked when it mattered.

Two regular-season meetings, two Kempsey wins by a combined 135 points. One grand final, and none of it mattered. JackinGoff 192.35, Kempsey Cum and fuck mes 124.15 — a 68.2-point premiership statement that flips the season's script on its final page. Back-to-back weeks of 190-plus football from Jacob's mob when the whole year said Kempsey; finals football, as promised, is a different sport.

And so the record will forever read: Kempsey — 12-2, 2,175 points, minor premiers, the 193, the 178, the 185 — runners-up. The greatest regular season in league history, converted into a silver medal and a grudge with a half-life of decades. The Gazette's condolences are sincere, and will be redeemed for content all summer.

JackinGoff: premiers of 2025. A 12-2 season, a 213 and a 192 in the finals, and a trophy that will be mentioned, by conservative estimate, eleven thousand times before the 2026 draft. Fair enough, frankly. See everyone at the pub — someone tell Tim to name the team before the presentation night programme goes to print.


Match reports

Nail-biter

7.3 pts

Deep Balls and Grimace v They Hit The 2nd Bower

Biggest hiding

68.2 pts

Kempsey Cum and fuck mes v JackinGoff

Top score

192.35

JackinGoff

Bench blunder

25.2 pts benched

Zach Charbonnet, left to rot by Post Chubb Depression

Full time

Tush takes the bronze

Push Tush for Reggie Bush 136 FT 113.05 Post Chubb Depression

Push Tush 136 over Post Chubb for third. The hottest run home in the league ends one escape short of the decider.

Full report ›

Full time

Frog signs off with a win

Kmet the frog 95.1 FT 72.85 Rashee’s Ricests

Kmet 95.1 beat Rashee's in the ninth-place game. The most cursed season in league history ends, fittingly, with a low-scoring win nobody watched.

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THE GRAND FINAL

Different sport, same trophy cabinet

JackinGoff 192.35 FT 124.15 Kempsey Cum and fuck mes

JackinGoff 192.35, Kempsey 124.15. Sixty-eight points in the decider. The two-time regular-season conqueror had no answer when the whole year was on the line. Premiers: Jacob. Forever: this paragraph.

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The spoon bowl, final edition

Grimace, victorious, twelfth

Deep Balls and Grimace 85.6 FT 78.3 They Hit The 2nd Bower

Deep Balls 85.6 def. 2nd Bower 78.3 for eleventh place. Both clubs finished the way they played: honestly.

Full report ›