Required reading
The FAAB guide
Everything you need to know about the league's waiver system, and several things you didn't ask to know.
The war chests
- Post Chubb Depression$100 of $100 left
Mals Pals$100 of $100 left
Kmet the frog$100 of $100 left
Push Tush for Reggie Bush$100 of $100 left
Surtainly Autistic$100 of $100 left
Kempsey Cum and fuck mes$100 of $100 left
Team tim7w$100 of $100 left
MaHomie N Herbie$100 of $100 left
Deep Balls and Grimace$100 of $100 left
Rashee’s Ricests$100 of $100 left
JackinGoff$100 of $100 left
This week's business
pickup JackinGoff
In: Kyle Williams
Out: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
pickup They Hit The 2nd Bower
In: Taysom Hill
pickup Deep Balls and Grimace
In: Cam Little
Out: Tyler Loop
pickup Deep Balls and Grimace
In: Malik Willis
Out: Jerry Jeudy
pickup Deep Balls and Grimace
In: Aaron Jones
Out: Jordan Mason
pickup Deep Balls and Grimace
In: Raheim Sanders
Out: Jayden Higgins
pickup JackinGoff
In: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Out: Kansas City Chiefs
pickup Kempsey Cum and fuck mes
Out: Chuba Hubbard
This league runs FAAB waivers — Free Agent Acquisition Budget. Every club gets $100 of entirely fake money to spend across the whole season. When a player is on waivers, you place a blind bid; highest bid wins the player, and the winner's bid comes out of their budget. Nobody sees anyone else's bid until claims process. That's it. That's the game. It is also, historically, the fastest way in this league to look like a genius or a clown by Wednesday night.
The Gazette's tips
- It doesn't reset. $100 for the season, no top-ups, no layby. Spent is spent.
- $0 bids are legal. Most weeks, most pickups go for nothing. Save the big swings for players who genuinely change your season.
- Bid odd numbers. $12 beats the three blokes who all bid $10. The dollar you add to a round number is the best dollar you'll spend.
- Don't torch it in September. Every year someone drops $60 in week 1 on a running back who never scores again, and every year the Gazette gets a column out of it. Don't be the column.
- But don't die rich either. The club sitting on $87 in week 14 didn't manage their budget, they framed it. Fake money buys real wins — spend it while it can still matter.
Frequently asked questions
When do waivers actually process?
Wednesday evening, Australian time (early Wednesday morning in the States). Get your claims in by Wednesday afternoon at the latest, or spend the rest of the week telling everyone you were 'about to bid on him'.
How long does a dropped player sit on waivers?
Two days. After that, unclaimed players become free agents and it's first come, first served — no bid required, just fast thumbs.
What happens if two clubs bid the same amount?
The tie goes to the club sitting lower on the Ladder. Being terrible has its privileges. This is also why you bid $12 instead of $10.
Can I see what other people bid?
Not until after processing. Bids are blind. Afterwards, everything is public, which is where the real entertainment lives — the Gazette reviews the losing bids every week.
Does my budget ever top up?
No. $100 covers the entire season, waivers close for no man, and there is no hardship fund. Budget accordingly.
Is there a trade deadline?
Yes — week 11. After that no trades, only waivers and regret. If you're planning a rebuild-fire-sale, do it early enough that the Gazette can cover it properly.
What's superflex, again?
Your lineup has a second flex spot that can take a quarterback. Since quarterbacks score more than everyone else, this means QBs are gold in this league — it's why someone will take one inside the first five picks of the draft and why you should already own two, ideally three.
And half-PPR?
Every catch is worth half a point on top of yardage. Pass-catching backs and target hogs get a quiet little boost; blokes who only block do not.
How do the playoffs work?
Top six after fourteen rounds. Finals run weeks 15 to 17, with the decider wrapping up in the last days of December. The top two seeds get a first-round bye and a fortnight of unbearable smugness.